Well, it's engagement season. Recently I had a friend tell me in conversation, "What if I never find the perfect guy? I probably just need to lower my standards to get that 'ring by spring' like everyone else." I'll be honest, I once thought the same thing... Will I ever find a guy with my, what seem to be, impossibly high, standards? I realized, though, yeah I should probably let go of the physical standards I have but there should be some things, us as girls should never settle on. We should wait it out, because even if it takes longer than expected, God has that perfect guy in store for you. Wait for the guy who makes you laugh. The guy that makes you smile when you're just done with the day, the guy who knows exactly what lame jokes to tell you that make you smirk, and the guy who will always try to make you smile or laugh when you're going through the hardest of times. Wait for the guy that motivates you. The guy who will push you to reach your dreams and goals. The guy who will encourage you when you feel like giving up and the guy who will motivate you to pursue even the wildest of dreams. Wait for the guy that prays for you. The guy who will set aside some sort of time per day to have you in his prayers. To pray for your goals, your life, and your relationship. Wait for the guy who pursues you. The guy that pursues you daily. The guy who will still pursue you like it's the first date after 3 years. Wait for the guy that respects you. Not just the guy that opens doors for you and pays for dinner, but the guy who respects your body, respects your morals and respects your choices. Wait for the guy your family loves. Because let's be honest, they really do know best. So maybe I won't get that "ring by spring," but I know, that by not settling, I will get the "perfect" guy, and it'll be worth the wait.
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We've all seen the rom-coms where you sit there 10 minutes after the movie has ended and say, "That's what I want. I want a love like that." The movie probably involved some kind of tragic loss or story line, but nevertheless, it was solely about a love that was so deep and genuine that it left you longing for whatever crazy and spontaneous love they had on-screen. I'm a sucker for those kind of movies. I always have been, and I hope I always will be. There's something about that love, that timeless love, that creates a desire in you, even the smallest sliver, to have that someday.
Everyone thinks about love. What it looks like and feels like. What it is and isn't. I've never found one definition for love, seeing that we all have some sort of picture in our heads of what's perfect and fairy tale-like. I think one of the best things anyone can ever dream about is their fairy tale. It can be classic and ageless, or perhaps daring and risky; the list is limitless for all the qualities a dream-love can hold. Call me a dreamer, but I hope to one day have that kind of love that's in the movies. Over the summer I went to one of my best friend's grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary. If 50 years doesn't say loyalty and passion, then I don't know what does. You could tell just by the way they looked at each other that their love story was one for the books. I can only imagine the wisdom and knowledge they've learned over the years, or the secret truths about love that you can only know from a relationship like that. This couple, who are also family friends, told us that they have been renewing their vows every ten years of marriage; you can only imagine how special today was celebrating fifty years. What I saw was beautiful: the raw love and evident desire to know each other and love each other well, rooting from their strong faith that I have no doubt is what has kept them together this long. The small glimpse at this beautiful, joy-filled life is an inspiration for love in all forms: Love that we should have for each other, and love that we will hopefully have for our husband or wife one day. Love doesn't have just one definition. In saying that, I encourage you to discover how you define love. We have all been there; the crush, the chase, the love, the excitement, the anticipation, and the heartbreak. Unless you met your soulmate in the first grade and have stuck with each other through the awkward years of adolescence and the self absorbed ones of high school, you are the exception to the rule. For the rest of us, we have experienced how it feels like to lose someone you thought was the one. The loss hurts; there isn’t just one way to describe how it feels because loss is not "one size fits all". In any break up we begin to think about what we did wrong; what we could have done to prevent this. The negative thoughts about ourselves overflows our conscious and we begin to have self doubt. We often forget that we are young, we have our whole lives to find commitment, and to find someone that is fit for us. It is true that there is a someone for everyone, but what we tend to forget is that not everyone is for you, nor are you for everyone. So here are a few things we must try and remember when experiencing heartbreak:
Stop waiting, stop searching We are young. We have our whole lives ahead of us for adventure, mistakes, love and heartbreak. We all have those friends who complain about a guy they are crushing on and complain about a guy who texts us, or hangs out with us but will hang out with another girls too. We read all these posts about finding that someone and waiting for the perfect guy. Stop waiting, stop searching, remember to worry about yourself, and remember to focus on what is truly important and not put a guys emotions before your own. At times we all let ourselves slip away and forget that the one person we must make happy is ourselves. Focus on the positive memories We need to learn to let ourselves realize people come and go, and those who go were never meant to stay. Be happy with the men/people you meet and the men/people that walk away, you will learn so much. Do not resent the relationships and friendships that do not work out, focus on the positive memories and lessons learned. If the relationship ends, your life will still go on even if you believe it won't. Change your perception Everything will happen when it is ready, and there is no need for rush. Remember how young you are and how much more you need to learn from the people and world around you. You do not need someone at all times, and you do not need someone just because your friends have someone. Change your perception, realize that you don’t need a man by your side to make you happy. Happiness is your choice and the decision that you make to create that happiness. If you change your perception and the way you look at things, in the end happiness will come and it will all be okay. Don't wait around and don't settle if you aren't ready to. Someone will come along, and someday it will all be figured out and fall into place. So here is the last piece of advice, you do not need to sit and wait around. You do not need someone at all times, and you will find someone someday, maybe not today or tomorrow but don't worry about it. Do not let the idea of relationships and men consume your everyday thoughts. Go explore and find yourself, think positive, love yourself and let the rest fall into place. |
AuthorI am a Public Relation and Advertising student and I spend my days working on finishing my degree from the University of Nebraska- Lincoln. Archives
April 2016
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